Psychic Holiday Wishes - who woulda thunk?
I first got the idea for Psychic Valentines in early 2006, and that was the first year that I offered them. I have since offered them in 2007 and 2008, and they never became the big hit I wanted them to. Yet. To be honest, I felt that they were a brilliant idea, and I still do. I still feel that they have a high potential for becoming quite successful one of these years. It would be great if that year is 2009.
Since 2006 I have also been offering Psychic Birthday Wishes, (Anytime Generic) Psychic Wishes, and Psychic Holiday Wishes. None of them ever took off either - until this year. Psychic Holiday Wishes have become quite popular this year. This is almost exclusively thanks to a woman from my past life regression class who bought them for almost 20 of her friends, several of which then turned around and bought some for their friends. I am immensely thankful for this because not only is this helping me financially in my time of underemployment, but it is also super fun to be busy writing emails back to the people who have asked their questions for psychic advice.
I really hope that this is only the beginning of the continuing success of my little Psychic Wishes. Please, please Universe. I would love to be busy answering email questions all year long.
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.: posted by Vera 
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I am the proud owner of an IUD
Kean and I recently decided that we wanted to be fluid-bonded. So I decided to get an IUD. It took three tries to make this happen. My first appointment at Planned Parenthood was on December 3. That day, they didn't have the kind of IUD that I wanted in stock (I wanted the non-hormonal one because I want to keep having my period). I made another appointment for December 10. On that day, they tried to insert the IUD but my cervix wouldn't open up. I left with a prescription for a medication that would loosen up all the muscles around my uterus.
I had another appointment on Friday, December 19. This time, Kean came with me. I took my medication, and soon after I started getting the most horrible cramps. I felt extremely uncomfortable. They lasted for about half an hour, and after that I just felt slightly altered and weird. Kean was allowed to go into the exam/procedure room with me. I got to sit on a chair like the one at the gynecologist's office, you know, a leg-spreading chair. The clinician told me that I had just started my period, which was a good thing because the cervix loosens up during the period. She thought there was a very good chance that she was going to be able to insert the IUD that day. I wasn't sure if the cramps had been due to my period or due to the medication I had taken. I don't normally get cramps, especially not ones that strong.
As the clinician started stuffing things up my vagina, she let me know exactly what she was doing. First, she felt for my uterus with her hand. Then she cleaned my cervix with some soap. Then she installed a stabilizing device on my cervix. This was uncomfortable and caused cramping. When she tried to measure my cervix, my cervix stayed closed, again. She said that the only thing she could do now was to give me an injection to numb my cervix and then use some devices to dilate my cervix. She told me that the injection needle had to go INTO MY CERVIX. I was horrified. She assured me that a needle going into the cervix is much less painful than a needle going into an arm, which usually doesn't make me blink much. Still, I was horrified because my cervix was already feeling uncomfortable and crampy enough. Kean came over to me and started petting my head.
As she was getting ready to inject me and measure my cervix, Kean and I started chatting about Christmas and New Year's and this and that. It was at this point that the clinician stopped keeping me updated exactly on what she was doing. This was a very good thing. She kept inserting things into me, and at one point she said that the numbing would be starting soon and that I should expect to feel less uncomfortable in a moment. She also said that "this part" was "going beautifully." Kean and I kept chatting, and she kept rummaging around in my vagina, and eventually I said "Wow, that felt weird." I had felt some pressure pretty high up, somewhere above the belly button. The clinician said "Yep, that's the IUD. You are now the proud owner of an IUD."
I was so happy and relieved. I had not felt the injection at all, and the prying open of my cervix with metal devices had just felt like a little bit of fumbling around. I know that some medication, an injection and some metal devices were involved in the opening up of my cervix, but I can't help feeling that Kean's presence was a big part of it too.
I continued having debilitating cramps for about eight hours after the insertion. I was told that I can expect my period pains to be worse during the first year of having an IUD. I am okay with that because I love having my period, and sometimes I even love having cramps. And somehow I doubt that the cramps are always going to be as bad as they were on that day. When I woke up the next morning, the cramps were gone.
What an adventure!
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.: posted by Vera
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I just wanted to remember this moment
"I'm leaving now."
"Wah."
"You're sad?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because you're nice and snuggly and warm and fun."
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.: posted by Vera
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Honored
I had recently found out that Bad Unkl Sista was going to be performing at a party called Okultura at Orbis Nex. For the last year or so, Orbis Nex has been my absolute favorite place for parties. I called up Anastazia and told her that Orbis Nex was my favorite place, and that I would love to perform there with her. She said "Okay, let's collaborate."
We met up at 5pm on the day of the performance. I had no idea what to expect. She put me in a white lace see-through tube dress. She had me put on white Butoh make-up. I had been wanting to get into Butoh, so this excited me. I loved the way I looked with a completely white face, save for a few strategically placed black dots. In the car on the way to Orbis Nex, Anastazia gave me a Butoh crash course. She said rather than looking a certain way or doing certain movements, she simply wanted me to give everything I am. Rather than dance, she wanted me to pray. She wanted me to look ahead a thousand years into the future. She said that if I ever felt uncomfortable or unsure of what to do next, to be completely still and wait for Butoh to come back into my body and move me.
Our performance was half an hour long. It was just Anastazia, Karl and myself. My role/trajectory was to be upright the whole time and very slowly walk about ten feet forward, all the while fixing my eyes straight ahead, a thousand years into the future. Anastazia and Karl were doing more active things behind me, but I couldn't see them. Anastazia's husband, Fkir Elderfae, provided the soundtrack for us.
I absolutely loved being in that performance. It felt amazing. Thinking about myself in that white dress and that white make-up fills me with peace and hope. I am so happy I got to keep the white lace dress.
A few people I know had been in the audience. They said our performance was powerful and intense. One person described me as angelic. Another said that we felt like beacons to him.
It feels so good to be able to touch people like that, simply by being myself. This performance felt more like "me" than any I have done before. What people were getting was my essence, being, breathing, feeling, moving ever so slightly, nothing more. I cannot wait to do more Butoh. I never expected my first Butoh experience to be so unrehearsed and almost accidental, but it couldn't have happened a better way. I am also thankful for all the one-on-one time Anastazia and I had before the performance. That had never happened before.
I feel so honored to have been able to perform at my favorite place, dressed in white in a room full of darkness.
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.: posted by Vera
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Liberation, part II
Wednesday was my first day back at Adobe since coming back from Arizona. And it was also my last day.
That day Adobe laid off about 600 people worldwide. I was one of them.
I am in a really strange emotional state right now. When I was in Arizona, I decided that I really wanted to focus on my counseling/healing/changing the world when I got back. I really wanted to be more firm about what kind of work I will and won't accept. I have been saying this for years but my patience for computer work is wearing really thin, and I just really want to leave it behind for good. I want to work with people, not machines. So in a way it's great that the universe decided to take charge and take the Adobe job out of my hands upon my return. It feels like perfect timing.
But in another way the timing is really really bad. I am really broke right now. People don't have a lot of extra cash right now, so it seems difficult to attract new counseling clients. Truthfully, I am pretty freaked out about money right now. But I have been here before, several times in the last few years. And things always turn out okay.
In addition to money worries, I think that getting laid off is very violating to a person's psyche. This is only the second time this has happened to me, and the first time was completely devastating. Even though I welcome the freedom and not having to go into that building with the bad energy anymore, I also feel angry, less for myself and more for the other people who were callously left behind because "profit is more important than people."
The good news is that I might qualify for unemployment. I didn't qualify for it when I left Adobe at the time of the merger, so it would be really nice if I qualified now. Please send some positive vibes to the unemployment agency for me.
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.: posted by Vera
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Suzanne drew me
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.: posted by Vera
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