And now I'm off to Witch Camp!
I will be back online on July 2nd.
|
.: posted by Vera 
|
|
The ongoing confliction
Last night I hooped (for Orange Hoops!) and modeled (for Tamo aka Green Girl!) in a fashion show at a Burning Man fundraiser party with Maryann aka Orange, Amy, Jay and others. I got to wear sexy playa wear and get stared at. I ran into my friend Ben and his girlfriend Teresa, both of whom I adore and hadn't seen since January. I felt chemistry with beautiful people, watched sexy dancers, and the bass vibrated my body nicely. The monotonous house beat made me feel like I was on drugs and I thought hey drugs, I haven't done those in a while, those were fun. And I thought maybe I should do this more often. Maybe I could do this more often.
Sometimes I really wish I wasn't such a loner and I didn't hate camping so much, so that I could be just like one of them, the people I admire who do nothing but wear homemade multi-layered outfits and dance and perform and go to campouts and Burning Man*. I wish I was like that but I am not so I don't really know why I wish I was like that. Welcome to the ongoing confliction.
*I went to Burning Man two years ago and I had a great time but I doubt I'll ever be back because I don't like camping.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
I love being his model
After I got my Nikon D50, Antti started getting really into photography. He bought a book titled Understanding Exposure, bought me a zoom lens, kept borrowing my camera to take pictures, and taught me about things like aperture and filters.
The other day he got a Nikon D70, and this weekend we went on our first photography date. We took both of our cameras and a tripod to some place interesting (today: Golden Gate Park and later Baker Beach) and each took lots of pictures. I think there will be many more of those dates to come because it was super fun.
Antti also took some bedtime pictures in my apartment. There is one of me at night, me in the morning, and me brushing my teeth. I'm posting these because hey, look at me, but also because of his camera's great ability to capture bright colors. I mean, look at those reds and yellows!
Vera going to sleep
Originally uploaded by SFAntti.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Bye-bye, my favorite twins
My favorite twins, the ones I babysat for several months this year, moved back to Finland on Thursday. I'm pretty heart-broken about this as I have grown very attached to them. These are the last pictures I took of them on Wednesday night.
And these are the pictures I had large prints made out of and gave to their parents as going-away presents. They were taken at their going-away party a few weeks ago.
I love you, Anni and Helmi!
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Ten years of U.S. history
Today is my ten year anniversary of living in the U.S. permanently. For those of you thinking that we already celebrated this: No - that was the ten year anniversary of my coming to the U.S. for the first time. But today marks the ten year anniversary of my moving here permanently.
Here is a little recap of what happened each year. I'm not going to talk about major events, just about what I did every year, and how I felt. It might not be possible to put all of that in a nutshell, but I'll try.
1996/1997: I lived in Victorville, California, attended Victor Valley College, worked in the lingerie department at Mervyn's, yelled at my then-boyfriend a lot, and felt anxious.
1997/1998: I lived in Victorville, attended Victor Valley College, worked at Wells Fargo Bank as a teller, hung out with stoners but never smoked any myself, and felt a desire to be promiscuous.
1998/1999: I lived in Pomona, attended Cal Poly Pomona, worked at Wells Fargo and later at Delta Technical Coatings dealing with Excel spreadsheets, hung out with several multicultural groups of friends, and felt varying degrees of suicidal.
1999/2000: I lived in Pomona and later in West Covina, attended Cal Poly Pomona, worked at Delta Technical Coatings and later at Mars as a number cruncher, went to a few raves and wore lots of sparkly butterfly hair clips, and felt in love.
2000/2001: I had graduated from Cal Poly with a degree in economics, lived in Charlottesville, Virginia, worked at Boxer Learning, went out for coffee with my then-boyfriend, and felt in balance.
2001/2002: I lived in Charlottesville, Virginia, worked at the University of Virginia as a Flash developer, went clubbing in D.C., and felt fulfilled.
2002/2003: I lived in San Francisco, telecommuted for the University of Virginia and later started working at Macromedia, tried to make some friends which was hampered by my anti-social then-boyfriend, and felt like I was missing out.
2003/2004: I lived in San Francisco, worked for Macromedia, hooped a lot and made lots of friends, and felt better than ever until my heart was broken by a 22-year-old.
2004/2005: I lived in San Francisco, worked for Macromedia, went to way too many underground parties, and felt depressed despite my best efforts.
2005/2006: I lived in San Francisco, worked for Macromedia and then quit and started doing psychic counseling, babysitting, taxi driving, painting, and freelancing, pulled myself back socially because I only wanted to be around clean energy, and felt like I was finally living my life.
I personally can't wait to see the recap for 2006/2007!
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Certifiably radical
As of June 4 I am now a certified radical counselor. Remember the counseling training I started last October? We had our tenth and last weekend together June 3/4. I received a certificate that states
This is to certify that Vera Fleischer has successfully completed Interchange, a one year training in Radical Counseling consisting of two hundred class hours and fifty additional hours counseling practice.
I'm really glad I did it. I learned so much, not just about counseling but also about myself and the world.
For those if you in the Bay Area, let me know if you are interested in test driving (for free!) my new and certifiably radical counseling skills.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Who'da thunk?
It looks like I'm going to Witch Camp this year. A friend of mine was talking about it last weekend, and I kept asking her lots of questions about it, and she kept answering them, and I decided that I wanted to go, and on Friday I sent out my check and registration form.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
My new shirt!
My new shirt!
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
The other day I got the coolest new shirt. Isn't it the coolest? Antti said that it's a "fancy hippie" shirt. I think it's hip rather than hippie. Anyway, I think it's the coolest.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Overwhelm
For a few days I have been wanting to write a post titled More about the new job. But it would have sounded more positive than reality actually is. So here is my more honest post about the new job, titled Overwhelm.
Like I mentioned before I have a new freelance job. It pays well and is fun. But unfortunately I go in to work every day fearing that I will be there all day and all night. I spend about half of my day waiting for the developer who previously worked on my stuff to check in their latest files. The other half of my day is spent waiting for the server guy to fix his part of the world. By the time those things are done and I'm actually ready to do my work it's like 6? And I want to go home? But then I still have about a day's work ahead of me. It has been quite frustrating. It has also been an interesting exercise in setting boundaries. I have now gotten used to arriving in the morning and announcing that I WILL BE LEAVING AT 6 TODAY, NO MATTER WHAT. I don't know how else to avoid being there all night. My preemptive announcement has worked so far and is, I hope, not being held against me. But the cool part is that even if it were held against me, that would be fine with me because after my six months of voluntary unemployment I feel VERY detached from this job. If I lose it, fine.
Apart from the would-be crazy hours, the job is fun. I also like being in the part of town the office is in, a part I haven't spent much time in before. It's near Levi's Plaza and Coit Tower. There are new streets and corners and delis and Starbucks' to discover. I can take BART or Muni there from my house. The commute is longish (about 40 minutes) but it involves a nice walk along the Embarcardero after getting off the train in the morning.
But I have to admit, I am kind of freaking out about this new commitment. I am feeling overwhelmed by my schedule:
Monday: 4am - 2pm taxi driving
Tuesday: 10am - 6pm (or later) freelancing
Wednesday: 10am - 6pm (or later) freelancing
Thursday: 10am - 6pm (or later) freelancing
Friday: 4am - 2pm taxi driving
I know this is hardly more than a regular 40 hour work week but somehow I feel overwhelmed. I feel overwhelmed by the constant threat of possibly having to stay late at the office, and especially by having to get up at 3am on Mondays and Fridays for taxi driving. I LOVE the taxi driving--it is so much fun--but having to get up at 3am is getting me down. So I have decided that I might just pick up the taxi at 6am instead of 4am. That way I lose two hours of potential fares, but with the amount of money I'm making at the freelance job, those two hours mean nothing but spare change. I have also decided that I might just tell the freelance company that I can only come in on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. So there. That's my scheduling update.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
