A little taxi update
On Friday, the taxi I drove was a pick-up truck. I don't know why this world needs taxi trucks but that's what I drove. Some people complained, some people laughed, and it made for a great conversation starter all day long. And somehow I ended up making more money that day than on any other day I have driven a taxi so far.
I also got to do my first tiny little tourist tour that day! A woman and her daughter who were in town from Austin wanted to go from the Caltrain station to Ghiradelli Square. First I took Leavenworth but then they were talking about cable cars so I decided to go one block over to Hyde Street so that they could see the cable car tracks and maybe even an actual cable car. Then we passed the crooked part of Lombard Street on the right, and I pointed that out to them. They started oooh'ing and aaah'ing, and I asked if they would like me to turn around and take them down Lombard Street and that it would cost them a dollar or so extra. They said sure, you only live once. So I took them down Lombard Street in my taxi truck. When I dropped them off at Ghiradelli Square, the woman thanked me over and over and said that I was a great taxi tour guide and gave me a nice tip.
Finally, on Thursday this sweet old lady had told me that she used to read this column in the SF Chronicle written by a taxi driver that was really, really funny but that didn't exist anymore. I loved that she told me that because it inspired me to write to the Chronicle to see if I can start a new taxi driver column. I haven't done that yet but the thought of it excites me. I did a little research, and I'm pretty sure that the former Chronicle taxi columnist is Brad Newsham. I have taken a look around his website and find his life story tremendously inspiring. His main careers have been taxi driver and author. He has published several books and has written lots of stories, including many cab stories, some of which have appeared in the Chronicle. I can't wait to write to him and tell him how inspired I am by his life.
|
.: posted by Vera 
|
|
On the upside
I lamented in my last post that nothing has happened since I quit my job, meaning something that would bring a regular flow of money into my life.
But lots of little things have happened that I'm amazingly thankful for, such as
- I started painting.
- I invented Psychic Wishes™.
- I did crystal ball readings at Circo Romani and at a bachelorette party.
- I was filmed for Hoop the Movie.
- I have been getting paid to hang out with my two favorite babies and to learn Finnish.
- I started driving a taxi, which is something I have wanted to try for a really long time.
- On Monday I did a small German translation project for $75.
- Min Jung and I have been meeting once a week for coffee, and she says she always feels really good after our "sessions."
- Friends and family members are regularly turning to me for advice.
- I decided that my photography was worth investing in a new tool for.
- I have been writing about my insecurities and am not ashamed of them anymore.
- I am in communication with a literary agent who likes my book ideas.
Some things are better than money. And hey, I'm still walking and talking. And even eating. I still have a bed to sleep in. I even still have a laptop!
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Struggle
I am about a month away from running out of money. For the last four months I have been hoping that something would happen. "Something" could have been, I don't know,
- getting my door run in with psychic consulting clients
- being discovered by a model agent
- being offered my own psychic TV show
- being hired by a celebrity as their personal psychic
- a few bestsellers magically writing themselves with my name on them
- winning the lottery
- a rich person giving me TONS of money
To my big surprise, none of those things happened. I still have no clients, no too-good-to-be-true gigs, and I'm about to have no money.
For the last four months I have been very optimistic and positive. I have had a tremendous amount of trust and faith in myself and in the universe. I have not for a moment doubted that leaving behind financial security was a mistake. I have been completely certain that bigger and better things were waiting for me in the future.
But now I am starting to have a hard time sleeping at night. I am having to face my life's worst enemies: the belief that "work is hard" and the fear that "I might not make it." Facing these things is hard. They are bringing out tears and anger and suicidal thoughts. I feel hopeless and stuck. I do not want a job, but I do want to survive.
I have had survival-related fears ever since I moved to the United States by myself at the tender age of 20. Since I couldn't just move in with my parents for a month when things got rough, I have always felt that the financial rug could be pulled out from under me at any time, leaving me homeless--or at the very least carless. Because of years of living with this fear I was particularly proud of myself for taking the risk of leaving my job last December. My readiness to take that step were proof to me that I had finally overcome that fear. But I still had money in the bank then.
Today I still have money in the bank as well, but in a month I might not. And the fear is still there. It's making it hard for me to stay focused on my dream. It's bringing up the following questions for me:
- Why did the money stop coming when I quit my job? I know it's logical but it doesn't have to be that way.
- Why didn't something happen in the four months I allowed myself to get things rolling? (Actually, lots of things did happen, but I'm not making any money.)
- What am I supposed to do now? I can't get a full-time job because it goes against everything I believe in, but I don't know if I can survive without one.
The thing is that I know what the problem is. It's the belief that "work is hard" and that "work is not fun." That's what I have been taught ever since I was little. Work and fun are to be separated. Work is serious. Work life and personal life are separate. The harder you work, the more you get rewarded. Work is so bad, they have to pay you to do it.
I have this idea buried deep inside me below all of my optimism and my faith and my trust that I can only get paid if I work hard. And I have not been working hard. At all. I have been having fun. I have been focusing on my personal needs. I have a hard time truly believing, with every ounce of my being, that I can get paid for things that are fun and personal. That's why I'm not getting any money--if I don't believe it can happen, then it won't. And that's also why I'm so resistant to even considering getting another job. Jobs pay and when you get paid for something, it loses its fun, and that is true for ANYTHING. That's why I didn't want to become a professional hooper. And now there is a part of me that doesn't even want to be a professional psychic because when I get paid for it, it becomes work, and work is not fun. Or at least that's one of my deep core beliefs that I have inherited from my parents, and that I'm now trying to shed.
And so, like so many times before in my life, I feel stuck. I'll let you know when I'm done mud-wrestling with the belief that "work is hard" and the fear that "I might not make it" because after that, life will be swell.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
My mortifying experiences with the He's Just Not That Into You book
I own the book He's Just Not That Into You . I bought it in 2004 because I thought it might help me understand that he was just not that into me. I just wasn't getting it, even six months after our initial two-week episode had ended by him not calling me anymore.
So one day in the fall of 2004 I was at the gym, and I had He's Just Not That Into You with me, ready to read it on the elliptical machine. And that's when I ran into him. Yes, the him that I was reading about in He's Just Not That Into You. We casually chatted for a minute or so, me batting my eye lashes and twirling my toes like I always did when I saw him. Then he pointed at the book clutched against my chest with one arm and said "Whaddaya reading?" My body shot into the position of an arrow pointed upwards and I said "Nothing!", blushed and ran as fast and as far away from him as I could.
Then, a couple of months ago, my current boyfriend and I were at a bookstore. I came across the book He's Just Not That Into You. Out of boredom I picked it up and started reading the chapter He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You. Shortly after leaving the bookstore, I started to get very upset. I knew that he was in no rush to marry me, or anybody. I said "You're just not that into me if you don't want to marry me!" We then ended up having a very intense two hour conversation in which we almost broke up because, well, he clearly wasn't that into me, so what was the point of having the relationship?
Given the uncomfortable situations it has created in my life, I'm not sure if that book is really really good or really really bad.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
All signs point to the Maker Faire
I first found out about the Maker Faire when Amy mentioned that she was going to be part of the fashion show there.
When I looked at their website I noticed that Phillip Torrone is very involved with the Maker Faire. Even though I have never met him, his name is familiar to me because he was well-known in the Flash community a few years ago and has co-authored a book called Flash Enabled: Flash Design and Development for Devices. I thought "Huh."
Then yesterday morning, the first person that got in my taxi was a girl who works for Gap as a visual merchandiser, i.e. she arranges the window displays. She said that she loves her job and that all her co-workers are really creative and that in fact she is going to have a table with one of her co-workers at a craft faire this weekend. I asked "Is it the Maker Faire in San Mateo?" She said yes.
Then I noticed in the Flickr stream of a friend a photo of Phillip Torrone. I didn't even know they know each other. Huh.
I think the universe is trying to tell me something. I'm going to the Maker Faire.
Update: I took lots of pictures at the fashion show.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Almost there
My birthday is in two weeks, on May 5! I will be 30! Here is my wishlist.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Taxi update
I have driven six shifts as a taxi driver now, and I KICK ASS! The coolest taxi story I have so far is that a woman and her 13-year-old daughter who I was driving around to run their errands bought me some chocolate from See's Candies.
On Wednesday, it was very warm and I had the window rolled down and got a sunburn on my left arm. My friend Nicole said "Oop, I guess you've got TAXI ARM!" I guess I do.
Lastly, my business cards have arrived.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Acquisitions
New laptop
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
Within the last month, three new gadgets have come into my life. Three new gadgets means three new USB plugs, so I have also had to get a USB port to support all of my new USB plugs. Yikes!
The first gadget was an iRiver that Antti generously gifted me because his company generously gave him two iRivers in six months. I use it mostly to record verbal channeling sessions with my new spirit guide, the lovely butterfly fairy princess Sinu. She is from another dimension, yo. I would like to put an example channeling session online. If you would like to be the subject of this channeling session, please let me know and email me the questions you would like answered (up to five).
The second gadget was my aforementioned new camera. I got it last week and have been busy figuring out how it works and how it can help me capture beauty in the world. Yesterday, I captured these beautiful things.
The third gadget was a laptop! I bought it with my tax refund. This is the first time I have owned a personal laptop--or a Mac! But the awesome truth is: I now have a Mac laptop! A 12 inch iBook. It's so small and cute. It's so small that it fits into my favorite bag, pictured in the below picture from three years ago! I am happy.
I am suddenly reminded of when I first got my yellow bug three years ago. Somebody--I think it was Juraj--said to me then that how happy I was when I got it is proof that sometimes money (or material stuff) does buy happiness. And now that I'm surrounded by my new gadget friends, I would have to say that sometimes I agree.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
First day
Today was my first day driving a taxi. I drove from 4am to 2pm, with little breaks inbetween whenever I wanted to. I didn't make that much money, but I think I did pretty well for my first day. I had 16 fares. Here they are, roughly in order of appearance:
1) The taxi driver who was on his way to work at another taxi company. (street pickup)
2) The very sweet and very old man who was going to the Amtrak station to visit a friend in Reno. (radio order)
3) The man with a British accent who was not at all interested in hearing about my first couple of hours of driving a taxi. (radio order)
4) The woman who was in a van with her husband on the way to an "appointment" and who was lost and asked me if I could take her to "this address" so that her husband could follow us. (street pickup)
5) The girl I picked up at the bus stop who was running late for babysitting in Potrero Hill. (street pickup)
6) The man who got on at Valencia and Market and who kindly reminded me to turn my meter on. (street pickup)
7) The very sophisticated-looking man who was talking about "phony-balloney politicians." (radio order)
8) The guy on the way to the airport who left voicemails for a woman named Laura in order to "touch base." (radio order)
9) The disheveled-looking couple I got to take to the nearest BART station who asked if I had change for a fifty, which I didn't, so we had to stop at an ATM as well. (street pickup)
10) The man with a French or Arabic accent who had survived a brain tumor and had gotten really into buddhism as a result. (street pickup)
11) The little old lady who had an appointment at a hospital. (radio order)
12) The really tired and jaded-seeming girl who takes a taxi to work every morning and whose boyfriend we dropped off at Starbucks on the way. (radio order)
13) The guy and his girlfriend who I picked up at a hospital and dropped off at a hotel. (radio order)
14) The guy who I picked up in front of a circus school at which he is taking classes and who knows somebody that recently joined a circus, who I know as well. (radio order)
15) The same little old lady from earlier, who was now returning from her appointment at the hospital and had several bandaids on her forehead. (radio order)
16) The couple from Ireland who were going to Macy's at Union Square and who regularly visit their son here in San Francisco. (street pickup)
I didn't have to use my map once. I only got honked at once (I think). And I only got pulled over by a cop once. Luckily he only gave me a warning because I didn't actually do anything illegal, just something annoying.
I was known as "DeSoto 510" today because my taxi number was 510. When I returned the car, I was told that I "did a hell of a job today" and that I "was all over that radio." I was surprised myself how all over that radio I was. DeSoto deals with a lot of "radio orders", i.e. requests for DeSoto cabs that are made by phone and then dispatched via radio to one of the many DeSoto cabs milling around. This is how it works: Every taxi is equipped with a special radio and microphone. Every taxi driver hears the dispatcher (who sits inside the DeSoto office), but only the dispatcher hears what the individual taxis are saying. The dispatcher says things like
"DeSoto Bush and Hyde, Guerrero and 17th, Folsom and 1st."
..which means that DeSoto cabs have been requested for each of those three intersections.
Sometimes, when there are a lot of orders at the same time, it might sound more like
"DeSotoBushHydeLarkinPineStanyanTurkMarket1st."
If you hear something in there that you think is close to where you are, you can respond with something like this, to indicate your current location
"DeSoto 510 Haight and Stanyan check."
Then the dispatcher will say
"510 checked."
to let you know that he heard you. He might then say "Who else?" to hear from more drivers that are close to one of these orders. He, with his vast knowledge of San Francisco geography, will then quickly decide who is the closest and will assign each order to the closest driver by saying
"510, the address is 45 Castro."
or
"1089, the address is 10xx Bush #3."
or
"707, the address is 505 Parnassus, UC Medical Center main entrance, inside the lobby."
or
"510, the address is 2238 Geary, Kaiser building, for David."
or
"510, the address is xx Genoa, which is a small alley off of Union, between Grant and Kearny."
The driver then has to repeat the exact address back to the dispatcher, and off he or she goes. I was very intimidated by the whole radio game at first but when in the early morning hours I heard an order that I knew I was really close to, I picked up the microphone and softly and slowly said "DeSoto 510 O'Farrell and Leavenworth" because that's where I was at the time. And next thing I knew, off I was, dispatched to my first radio order!
I have to say, I was really nervous and tense ALL DAY LONG, and my heart was beating like crazy. But it was also really fun, and I think I'll get used to the rush of it all. For now, I can't wait for my next shift!
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Comments wanted
Comments wanted
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
I'm looking for reactions. If you found this flyer at, say, a coffee shop, what would you think or feel?
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
DeSoto
AWESOME urban painting
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
I spent some time training at DeSoto Cab this morning. This painting was hanging in the room I was in. I love it. It pictures seven DeSoto taxis.
Starting on Monday, I will be driving a DeSoto taxi twice a week, on Monday and Friday mornings until 2pm. I can't wait for Monday! And check it, DeSoto is located at 555 Selby. Anything that has anything to do with the number 5, especially when it's triple, is a good omen for me. So if you need a taxi within San Francisco on Monday or Friday mornings and you have my cell phone number, call me!
I have also decided to offer rides to the airport with my yellow bug. I unofficially call it Yellow Bug Airport Cab. I pick up anywhere in San Francisco and will drop you off at San Francisco or Oakland Airports for slightly lower rates than a regular taxi (SFO: $30, OAK: $45). This offer extends to friends and friends of friends only though, for my protection. My bug doesn't have security cameras like regular cabs do! So again, if you need a ride to the airport and are a friend or friend of a friend, let me know!
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Crazy encounters this week
On Tuesday I had lunch at Café Gratitude and talked with these two scientists from the South Bay for a while who were going to a big biochemistry conference at the Moscone Center. Later that evening I was at the Apple store and ran into one of the professors I used to work for at the University of Virginia, who was in town FROM VIRGINIA to attend the same biochemistry conference as my two lunch buddies.
I ran into the same person from my old company TWICE, on Tuesday evening and Wednesday afternoon, at two totally different locations.
On Thursday, in order to get my San Francisco taxi license, I attended a class put on by the SFPD at the Hall of Justice, taught by Johnny Dangerously, who I met for the first time that day. On Friday afternoon, I ran into Johnny Dangerously again, on a random San Francisco street.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Bird poem
Ariel just posted a seagull poem/song, and it reminded me that I once wrote a poem about a bird, which incidentally I had just come across in my desk drawer yesterday.
She was a bird
not in a cage but completely free
Free to go wherever her wings would carry her
She knew exactly where to go, where to do it all
So she flew over
Thankful for those wings that let her
Other parents trim their children's wings
Not hers
They gave her her wings
Because they knew she knew how to use them
Lucky for her
Independence
Today she doesn't want to be independent
anymore
Today she wants nothing more than to depend,
to belong
The freedom is suffocating her,
the independence making her lonely
The road less traveled by
So glamorous
So brave
So alone
In a world of
too many people
too much information
too many choices
All of which compound improvement and growth
It is utterly unliberating
To be a girl
I wrote it in early 2000, I believe, probably during that year's February Blues, at the tragic age of 23. Don't you just love the "She was a bird" opening line? And aren't you just dying to know who I was talking about? And don't you just love the mystery of the line "So she flew over", like what in the world could that mean? Okay, I think I'm done belittling my own poetry now. The truth is, I have always felt embarrassed for this poem, even the day I wrote it. But these days, it seems that talking about the most shameful things in my life are what makes me feel most alive. So I had to share it.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
How I got out
In case you missed it, here is Part 1, How I got stuck.
Once I knew that I was going to leave the company, I had an inner conflict going on. On the one hand, I beat myself up for still being there, knowing that I didn't want to be there anymore and that I was going to leave eventually. If I knew I was leaving, why was I still there? And on the other hand, I really enjoyed my last few months of security, co-workers and stock options. Sometime in the spring, a girl in my psychic awareness class said very aptly "I think one day you're just going to KNOW that it's time to quit and you're going to walk right out." With that in mind, I was able to enjoy my last months of 9 to 5 much more than if I hadn't known that I was leaving. While, in a sense, the knowledge that I was leaving made me feel bad for not following through on it already, it also made me feel good because my 9 to 5 existence didn't seem so endless and permanent that way.
As I mentioned before, throughout all of last year I used coffee, specifically mochas, quite a bit to create the pleasant illusion that I was having fun at work when I really wasn't. It wasn't so much that I didn't enjoy my work, but I definitely didn't enjoy having to be there eight hours a day, five days a week, for 50 weeks out of the year. That's what was getting to me. And the mochas helped.
For many months I waited for the day when I was ready to jump off the cliff and fly, but I wasn't too worried or anxious about it because I knew it was coming. In September I suddenly felt totally convinced and ready that it was time to tell my boss that I was making plans to leave soon-ish. When I walked over to his cube, it almost felt as if my feet were walking themselves. I told my boss that I would like to be laid off when the merger became final, which was scheduled for sometime within the next few months. He said that that wasn't likely to happen, but that he would keep my request in mind.
On December 3, the merger became final, and I did not get laid off. In the week that followed, it was a combination of lack of caffeine, PMS, a comment from a friend, and a counseling session with another friend that led to my long-awaited resignation. For probably the 10th time that year, I had decided to quit drinking coffee again. Without the caffeine, working really wasn't very much fun, and I was in the midst of realizing just how not fun it really was, especially now that influences from the other, bigger, more corporate company were starting to make themselves felt, just ever so little. Adding to my discomfort was my PMS, and that Wednesday, December 7, I was feeling downright depressed. I spent that morning IM'img with work friends and telling them how much everything sucked and how angry I was feeling that nobody had asked US if we wanted the merger. One of my friends on IM said something like "Stop complaining and do something about it." I thought "Huh." The first thing I did about it was take a long lunch break that included Indian food and a trip to H&M. After that I decided that I was going to quit now. That evening I had an eye-opening counseling session with Trish, which cemented my decision, and the next morning, instead of complaining more to my friends, I REALLY "did something about it" and quit.
PMS, lack of caffeine and serendipitous encounters with friends made it so. Oh, and of course months and months of preparatory letting go of beliefs that were keeping me there.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Why work?
Very synchronistically, I found the Why Work aka CLAWS (Creating Livable Alternatives to Wage Slavery) website right after posting my last post. I LOVE that website! It features essays such as What I Learned When I Quit My Job and What I Do For A Living: A Rant. I love it! D. JoAnne Swanson is my new hero. She asks us if we would like to help create "a world where wage slavery is a thing of the past." And she says "You can start today, right now, with yourself." That's right! That's what I'm trying to do. The more people start living outside of wage slavery, the sooner wage slavery will come to an end. I also love this little blurb: D. JoAnne Swanson is a freelance writer living in North Vancouver, BC, Canada. She has managed to remain job-free since 1997, though she does plenty of joyful work.
I'm so glad there is already a whole movement dedicated to something that I have been spending a lot of time thinking about.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
How I got stuck
In January 2005 I first fully realized that I wanted to be doing something else with my life and that I wouldn't work for Macromedia forever. But it took me almost a whole year to finally leave the company.
What was holding me back? My beliefs. Even though I don't know exactly what the future holds for me, I know that quitting was one of the best decisions I have ever made. But my beliefs tried very hard to keep me from doing it, and this what they were saying.
This was my dream. It's true, at one point it was my dream to work for Macromedia. My dream had come true, but I wasn't happy anymore. Macromedia had afforded me fame and money, but I wasn't happy anymore. I almost stayed because working for Macromedia was a dream come true, and why would I ever reject a dream? The answer is simple: I had a new dream.
The benefits are really good. The benefits were a regular paycheck, health insurance, a monthly Muni and BART pass, software discounts, stock options, a 401K, the occasional business trip with all expenses paid, free water all day long, etc. If I started my own business, all of those benefits would go away. Out of all those things, believe it or not, the free water all day long was the most convincing one. I drink a lot of water, so I thought that if I quit, I would have to buy cases and cases of water all the time, and that wouldn't be fun. But in the end, being chained to a desk wasn't fun either. And now I have a Brita filter at home, so I buy hardly any water anyway. Plus, leaving a situation that was draining me, despite all its benefits, is going to be much more beneficial in the long run.
It takes years to successfully change careers, so don't even bother. Since I had put five years into this career, I felt in some way that I had to stick with it. If I started over with something completely new, all those years would be wasted. And in the field I was in, it took me five years to get where I was, so it would take me just as long or more to get ahead in my new career. Plus, I might need education and training and... is it really worth is to start something new? YES. However long it takes to get out of a less-than-ideal situation is worth it.
It's hard to venture into the unknown. Sure, it is. There are many risks involved, the main one being not having a steady paycheck. But you know what was also hard? Getting up every morning to go somewhere I didn't really want to be. Staying for eight hours at a place I didn't really want to be was even harder.
Quitting would undermine the ten-year-plan. I din't really have a ten year plan. But I did want to buy a house someday. And my job at Macromedia allowed me to put money into my savings account. One time I told my dad about my savings account and that I would like to buy a house, and he got very excited. I was afraid that he would be very disappointed if I spent all my savings on something else. But now that's what I'm doing. I know now that this what my savings are for: to help me in this phase of transition. And surprisingly, my dad doesn't mind anymore. He believes me when I tell him that I will have a house one day even if the savings I have now won't go towards it. In fact, just the other day he told me that he thinks I'm going to be a millionaire. With all the different projects I'm working on and ideas I'm having, he is excited about my future. And so am I. I think my next ten years are going to be much better than in my original ten-year-plan, even if I didn't really have one.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
Raw weekend
I had raw chocolate cake TWICE this weekend! On Friday night Antti and I had dinner and two desserts at Alive, a raw food restaurant on Lombard Street. Who said eating raw had to be about deprivation?
When Antti suggested we go to Mendocino for the weekend, I was hesitant because I was afraid that if we ventured out of San Francisco, it would be hard for me to find food I can eat (unless of course I would be satisfied biting into a head of lettuce). But Antti did some awesome research and found out that there is Living Light, a raw food deli in Fort Bragg, only a few miles from Mendocino. How lucky! So on Saturday we drove there and had raw enchiladas for lunch and again, chocolate cake dessert!
That night we found out that there is also a vegetarian/vegan restaurant, The Raven's, in Mendocino that serves some raw dishes, in honor of Living Light. So we had dinner there. I had the Raw Napoleon which was delicious and so filling I couldn't even finish it.
Another hightlight of the weekend was our visit to Bamboo Garden Spa. We did a one hour sauna and tub combination, and to my surprise and delight the tub was a color therapy tub with rotating rainbow colors! You could let the colors rotate or choose to leave it on one color. We first let it rotate and then decided to stay on purple. All things color therapy always inspire me to no end. Check out my pictures of the tub.
We got back today, and this evening I cooked myself another delicious raw meal: Zucchini fettucini with marinara sauce. I made the sauce out of fresh tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, a clove of garlic, three figs, and lots of parsley. It was super yummy, and I even had parmesan: grated walnuts. I normally think that pasta with marinara sauce is a really boring dish, but not when it's all raw.
Zucchini fettucini with raw marinara sauce and walnut "parmesan"
Originally uploaded by Verabug.
|
.: posted by Vera
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
