Saturn is coming back again
The second part of my Saturn Return will be from June 23 to June 30. I started to feel it yesterday. I feel very confused about everything right now. A week ago everything was very clear and comfortable. Now I feel confusion and dread.
Last winter, the first part of my Saturn Return had left me a totally different person on the inside. I think this second part will be about the outside, that is, external things in my life. I completely rearranged my insides a few months ago, throwing away a lot of stuff in the process. I think now it's time to rearrange the things around me that are outside of myself. There will be some good-byes, and it's really scaring me. The reason I feel so confused is that I keep asking myself "Do I have to?" The answer is YES.
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.: posted by Vera 
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Unniversary
Happy two year anniversary of our break up, ATK! We are both much better people now.
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.: posted by Vera
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You didn't hear it from me
My beloved psychic friend Philo gave me a hug today, and as we pulled apart, he said "You got a new boy, don't you?"
Me:
Philo [rubbing my arm to get a closer "look"]: He's pretty cute too.
Me:
Philo [keeps rubbing my arm]: Yeah, he's pretty cute.
Me: :)
Philo [rubbing my arm some more]: He's tall.
Me:
Philo: It all looks good.
Yep.
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.: posted by Vera
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Spencernicity
So two months ago when I went to LA, I bought this purse through my friend Lyzz's sister who was selling them for the guy who makes them, Spencer Enzo.
Today at work somebody I had never seen before asked me "Excuse me. Where did you get your purse?"
Me: From a friend of a friend. There is a guy who makes them, Spen-.
Him: Spencer. Yeah, he is my roommate. I thought I recognized that purse.
Me: No way. Do you live in in Los Angeles?
Him: No, Spencer moved up here about three months ago.
Me: Nuh-uh.
Him: Yuh-uh. He might even start working here.
Me: No fucking way.
I stand by my word: No fucking way.
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.: posted by Vera
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Almost forgotten mirror shots
See above.
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.: posted by Vera
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Intention vs. Intuition
Sometimes lately it's hard for me to tell the difference between manifestation and clairvoyance. Things have happened, and I knew that they would happen and I wanted them to happen. When that happens, am I manifesting it or am I being psychic?
Here are some examples:
- One morning not long ago I woke up and thought "I want to get some extra money today." That night there was a $20 check in my mail from some class action law suit about internet down time I had participated in months ago.
- Yesterday at work I really wanted to take a break and go outside for a bit, and I was thinking about asking my favorite person at work if they want to take a break, and a few minutes later my favorite person came by my cube and asked me if I wanted to take a break.
- Today at work I really wanted to have lunch with somebody. A few minutes after realizing that, my friend Israel walked by and said hi, then stopped in his tracks and asked me if I wanted to have lunch.
Did I make these things happen? Were they going to happen anyway, and somehow my antennas picked up the immediate future just in time?
I don't even know which I would prefer. If I am creating these things, then that means that I am not really psychic after all. If I am psychic, then that means that I am not really manifesting anything. I want both, damn it! And really, I think it is both. I think that in order to successfully manifest, you have to be somewhat psychic so that you will always know what to do and where to go next in order to receive what you asked for. And being psychic really just means being aware of what you are going to create next. So yes, it's a combination of both. It's a kind of anticipation - wanting/hoping for something to happen and at the same time calmly expecting it to happen.
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.: posted by Vera
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The clouds are drifting far away, or are they?
There once was a little girl in a perfect little dress with perfect little socks, and she was screaming. It was a sunny day at the beach and there were sail boats. There were children playing in the sand. The little girl was looking at the children, screaming. She was watching but couldn't join.
The little girl was stuck inside a house, and it was raining outside. She had this stick with long rainbow ribbons on it, and all she wanted to do was go to the beach and run around and let the rainbow ribbons billow in the wind. That would feel so good. Color made her feel really good.
Inside the house with her was a man with a hat and a moustache. It was her birthday and she had a birthday cake and was very happy and excited about blowing out the candles on the cake. Her birthday was a really happy event for her. Yet there were clouds and rain outside.
The little girl had a lot of knowledge and power when she was all by herself. She was usually by herself. She saw others only through a window. But sometimes she was afraid of being by herself, afraid of herself. She wanted to run away from the rain and to the beach and run around in the wind.
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.: posted by Vera
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A tribal hum
Ever since I was very young, I have been feeling a mysterious sensation in my lower body from time to time. The location of the sensation is always very close to my vagina, but it is not a sexual feeling. It's a feeling of familiarity, security and comfort. It's just this little tingly buzz I get, maybe once every few months. It's always when I'm around one or more people that I have a close relationship with - relatives, close friends, co-workers, a boyfriend, etc. I never knew what exactly elicited it; it would just show up every once in a while, usually when I was in a familiar group setting.
Recently I have convinced myself that what I'm feeling is my first chakra incarnate. The first chakra, or root chakra, in females is located in the vaginal cavity. It governs group identity, tribal culture, and familial belief patterns. So I thought it made sense to imagine that sometimes when I'm around members of my tribe, I get a first chakra buzz that physically makes itself felt. All my life I didn't know what that feeling was but this seems like an acceptable explanation.
To learn more about chakras, go visit Miss Myss' site.
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.: posted by Vera
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Wisdom on Bryant
There is a purple house on the corner of Bryant and 23rd. It has some graffiti on it. It says
The things I don't believe in are the things I most want to be real
and
Love rises from the cinders of extinguished fantasies
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.: posted by Vera
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415 day
For those of you living in the 415 area code like me, today is a special day: It's 4/1/5!
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.: posted by Vera
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